Having Lunch with God

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“Everyone’s life is a fairy tale, written by God’s fingers.” – Hans Christian Anderson

The other day I read the suggestion in a meditation book that we could talk to God, whatever our idea of a Higher Power might be, as if God was our friend. I’ve been pondering it ever since because chattering away to the Universe about the latest cute thing my kids have said, relating the story about spilling water on my pizza, or who I have a crush on doesn’t match with my idea of prayer.

But it has me thinking about faith, prayer, and God in a slightly new way. That is, the one phrase that I hear said to me by my friends, the one that is consistent whether they be new or old friends, male or female, is “you don’t ask for help.”

As is often the case with new angles, it’s led to an a-ha moment — that would likely be the same thing that God would say to me. I’ve long known that I tend towards doing instead of being and am impatient. The result is that I’d prefer to take things into my own hands instead of waiting for the Universe to work its magic.

If there’s a consistent trend that I notice looking back at my life so far, it’s that it’s only after I’ve mucked around trying to make things happen my way, only then do I sit back on my heels and try vulnerability, faith and patience.

This makes me think of Brené Brown’s recap of Joseph Campbell’s The Hero’s Journey. The protagonist tries everything they can to complete their quest, ruling everything else out, until they finally concede the only way through is to be vulnerable.

If God were a friend, I imagine I’d show up for our lunch date a little harried by life and then after a warm hug, sit down to change gears, and breathe deeply. I’d pick up the menu, only to put it down immediately so I could focus on the presence before me, and remember how good it is to sit in the company of my friend.

Ah yes, God and I would have a good laugh about my proclivity to engineer life and to try work above my pay grade. But then I’d thank God for all the wonderful ways God has delivered amazing miracles and results in my life, even when I couldn’t see it at the time. And then maybe we could work out a signal of when I’m supposed to stand down and ask for help.

If God were a friend, I’d ask questions about climate change and gun violence because I imagine God could provide a bigger picture view that would help inspire and motivate my efforts in the right direction. I would have the opportunity to ask, “How can I help?”

I’d unload the things the things that feel burdensome and heavy, share my recent mistakes that I haven’t quite forgiven myself for, and I’d glean a little insight about myself from how my friend responds.

I’d tell stories about Miss O answering why she got dressed on a weekend morning before she had to, “I want to be ready for the future.” I’d tell about the other night when Mr. D was fitful because he didn’t want to be back from our mini vacation, and in the middle of the night he sat up in my bed and said, “Mama?” And when I tiredly answered “yes”, he sighed and laid back and said, “Nothing.”

I’d remember to turn and ask, “I don’t have a map. Can you help me get to wherever I’m supposed to be going?” And I’d walk away a little bit lighter because of the time spent in the company who lets me know I’m loved, understood, and supported.

Maybe God has been a friend this whole time.

I also publish posts on the Heart of the Matter blog on Mondays. The Journey to Wholeness talks about writing about life from the understanding that comes from the second half of life.

(featured photo from Pexels)

64 thoughts on “Having Lunch with God”

  1. I once had a conversation with God. I asked him where have you been? S/he turned the question on me: “I’ve been here all along; where have you been?” Burn!

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  2. I adored all parts of this post, Wynne, but somehow especially this because of your self-awareness about your reluctance to ask for help (you’re such a ‘can do’ human): …”maybe we could work out a signal of when I’m supposed to stand down and ask for help.” Right, right. Because we’re so intent on the doing. And this: “I’d remember to turn and ask, “I don’t have a map. Can you help me get to wherever I’m supposed to be going?” Poetic, philosophical, inspirational thoughts this morning. 💕

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    2. Victoria, I think you’ve said exactly what I wanted to say too! I love this post Wynne, it really hits home in it’s transparency and openness! If we could each speak with God this way, knowing we have a friend who has our back and who already loves us, flaws and all, and who is committed to helping us become who we are supposed to be, imagine how much less pain there would be in the world?

      Wynne, as the daughter of a preacher, your written journey while you speak with God, would make a powerful book to help so many people!

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  3. God has such a huge responsibility. if i had lunch with God, i’m for sure picking up the tab … and i don’t think i’d say a word. i’d let God vent. 😉 — but i like that you understand that sometimes you need to lay your burden down. and yes, He’s there to help you carry the heavy things. ❤

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  4. In my Catholic upbringing, God was like a strict babysitting… if we’re good, he’ll take us to the public pool or arcade but if we’re bad than he will tell our parents. I’ve never consider the idea of viewing God as a good friend, but it’s such an intriguing concept. Sharing your joys, offloading your burdens, asking for help, and reading God’s reactions… wow! When it comes to faith, I’m an aimless and curious wanderer but I do believe God is whatever and whatever we need him/her to be, so your final line struck a chord of recognition: “Maybe God has been a friend this whole time.” Beautiful post, Wynne!

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    1. I know what you mean about a transactional God – and also being a wanderer. There is a theory of the phases of religious belief: Phase 1 is disbelief, Phase 2 is being by the book, Phase 3 is questioning and Phase 4 is being a mystic (my gross oversimplification, of course). Hopefully regardless of where we are in the continuum, God can at least be a friend… 🙂

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      1. I’ll need to do some research on the phases of religious belief. That sounds so interesting! The idea of God as a friends holds a lot of appeal for me, so I’ll need to play around with that. 🙂

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      2. Scott Peck summarize the stages in his book Further Along the Road Less Traveled. But I believe that was based on the work by James Fowler: Stages of Faith: The Psychology of Human Development and the Quest for Meaning.

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  5. “… it’s only after I’ve mucked around trying to make things happen my way, only then do I sit back on my heels and try vulnerability, faith and patience … thank God for all the wonderful ways God has delivered amazing miracles and results in my life, even when I couldn’t see it at the time. And then maybe we could work out a signal of when I’m supposed to stand down and ask for help.”

    You’re reading my mail Wynne! The only difference is, I’ve been receiving it a lot longer, back when first class postage was 3 cents and dinosaurs still roamed the earth 😊

    I attribute much my reluctance to ask for help to that big “I” smack dab in the middle of my pr”I”de. My old German grandmother’s words ring ever true . . . “Freddy, you’re too soon old and too late smart.”

    “Maybe God has been a friend this whole time” . . . you and I both know He has Wynne. As VJ just candidly wrote, “I’ve been here all along; where have you been?” Victoria’s comment, ““I don’t have a map. Can you help me get to wherever I’m supposed to be going? echos my lament mentioned in my Change of Plans post roaming the Smokies yesterday . . . looks like VJ and Victoria are also reading my mail 😊. Thanks ladies. I need all the help I can get navigating life’s journey

    Looking back on my ‘A-ha’ moment yesterday, He just encouraged me with yet another Divine ‘A-ha’ . . . amid the bouquet of diminutive 5-petaled Forget-Me-Nots I just noticed the there’s one with 6 petals . . . thanks Lord for reminding me yet again that while I’m often without a map, You have always been there, and I’m never alone to ‘petal’ along on my own (Sorry . . . couldn’t restrain my pun addiction 😊)

    “Everyone’s life is a fairy tale, written by God’s fingers.” – Hans Christian Anderson . . . Love this quote.

    Be Blessed, and . . . .
    Keep Looking Up . . . His Best is Yet to Come!

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    1. Petal along on my own…so funny, Fred. And sorry that we’ve all gotten into your mail but that’s only because your messages are so good!! Thank you, my friend!

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  6. Thanks Wynne. That’s really helpful. Having been around churchy people all my life many have fixed ideas as to how God should be addressed and what he’s interested in. Through my personal experience – and that of friends of mine – I sense that God is more gracious and less restrictive than some think he is. If he’s that big he’s not going to be limited by my tiny mind, understanding or restrictions…

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  9. This post is lovely Wynne and lends itself nicely to adaptation for those of us who do not view a universal entity or spirit as a guiding force in our lives. What resonates with me is the concept of “friend” no matter who or what they may be in an individual’s life. Simply knowing/believing that you have IRL friends or spiritual places that ground you can fulfill the same essence that God might fulfill for others. I think a dear presence or place has just as much power to renew and take some of our burdens away if we are vulnerable enough and open enough to allow that to happen.

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    1. What a lovely comment about presence and place, Deb. You are so right about the power of vulnerability and openness that can serve us regardless of theological beliefs. I’m really taken with your idea about place – reminds me of our conversation about the Capital Hill stairs. Yes, there are places that renew us, right?

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      1. Absolutely Wynne! You have the stairs or one of those amazing beaches on Whidbey! Put me in a forest and I have found the greatest connection to what I would describe as spirituality I’ve ever encountered 🙂

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      2. Oh, yes, yes, yes. I love the forest too and I know (or think I do) exactly what you mean, Deb. Like the John Muir quote, “And into the forest I go, to lose my mind and find my soul.”

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  10. I like the idea of God being a friend better than the almighty being a stern taskmaster or an uptight judge. I could use more friends, so why not start at the top? 😉

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  11. What a beautiful post. I picked up your book last night and had a difficult time getting through your letter to your father. I was weeping. I set it down for a few minutes but made it all the way through. This post is a perfect accompaniment to your letter.

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  12. True for me too, Wynne. Of all the spectacular promises in Scripture, it’s funny that one of the hardest for me to believe is this: “I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends.” (John 15:15)

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  13. The wonderful thing about God – or whatever higher power one believes in, as you noted – is that the relationship is so individual and deeply personal. I think the connection will be unique to the individual and God.

    I love the way you approach your conversation and I love how self aware you are in how you would likely be responded to.

    What I find so comforting about prayer is that while you try to solve your problems yourself – you and I are so alike in this sense – there is also the knowledge that we can just unload and ask for help when we are at our most vulnerable and weak and desperate and dispirited moments.

    I bet God loves hearing all the updates about Miss O and Mr D and gets very amused by what they are up to!

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    1. You are so right, Ab – it is deeply personal and variable. And maybe that’s why I find it so hard to get a grasp on.

      I’m laughing about the D & O updates – you’re right, probably unnecessary but hopefully amusing!

      Hope you have a great week!

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  14. Oh I love this post Wynne. I’ve written in the past that my faith has been a bit up and down lately, but one thought that has stayed with me in recent years is the thought of sitting down and having a talk with God. Like you, I’m not sure if that fits my idea or image, but then I think about talking about my kids or how I’ve flummoxed some situation and it seems to be just the right kind of conversation to have. Yes, maybe God has been a friend this whole time. Thank you for reminding me of this. Love it.

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    1. Yes, this post reminds me a lot of your conversation with your dad and the dream about God you wrote about. I think whatever feels like the right conversation to have is something in the right direction – at least in my conception. Thanks for weighing in!

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  15. There is definitely a tension between doing our part, and trusting in God. Deep post Wynne. I enjoy getting to know this part of your life!

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  16. I love the idea of having lunch with God. I was raised Catholic where all our prayers were memorized and standardized. I’d never really thought of having a conversation with God or Jesus and it’s still something I struggle with. I’m definitely a work in progress on the faith front.

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    1. I love your work in progress comment, Michelle. I think of the Presbyterianism that I grew up with and it’s missing something for me so perhaps a conversation is more what suits me. But I think work in progress is a good description for me too!

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  17. There’s such good food for thought for me here! After a great Saturday convo about prayer, I’ve been trying to adopt a growth mindset there, but it all feels so peculiar to me … at this point. I think what I am feeling hete is permission to be a little less rigid in my thinking about/attempt to grow in it! 💕

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    1. A growth mindset – that’s an interesting thing to apply here, Deb. I love this forum for putting out ideas and then others push the thinking forward with comments! Yes, less rigid sounds good to me to – and I love reading different suggestions for just the little a-ha’s that help me get more comfortable. Thanks for weighing in!

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  19. Hans Christian Anderson’s quote “Everyone’s life is a fairy tale, written by God’s fingers.” is such a delightful thought to think about. Friends represent a very important aspect of human life and I think a friend like God is pretty special in so many ways!

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  20. Wow! What a lovely post Wynne!
    I love it. Especially, “And I’d walk away a little bit lighter because of the time spent in the company who lets me know I’m loved, understood, and supported. Maybe God has been a friend this whole time.”
    I believe it too. A friend who has my back at all times. A friend who listens to my prayers, my doubts, my rants, and my praise. Who guides me, soothes my fears, and when I am at the end of my tether, reminds me, “There is a light at the end of the tunnel.”
    Love

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  21. My late husband used to tell me to “go with the flow” which is a constant struggle for me. The balance between letting go of what we think we can’t control and actively engaging when we should can be tricky. I like the idea of having a friend who is there to listen and not to judge or berate me; although I’m not religious, I do feel calmed when I talk it out with a higher power or spirit, even if he/she doesn’t talk back.

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    1. Balance – that’s such a good word for it. I feel like I’m constantly stepping over the line but I’m just trying to be responsible. 🙂 And I love what you say about talking it out, Margaret. Just that part helps bring calm and perspective, doesn’t it? Thanks for reading and commenting!

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