The Return Trip

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“You must understand that there is more than one path to the top of the mountain.” – Miyamoto Musashi

I was walking on the beach right at twilight on the first night on my mini vacation on Whidbey Island. I walked past a shell and went about five paces before I registered that I wanted to pick it up. I turned around to look for it and couldn’t find it – the tide line looked completely different.

It reminded me of a lesson I learned climbing Mt. Ixtaccihuatl in Mexico. My guide friend, Phil, brought along a roll of crepe paper – lightweight, colorful, and paper, not plastic. At every decision point, Phil tied a small bit of crepe paper to a tree branch or stick.

When I asked for more detail about route-finding, Phil told me that when we make the choices about which fork to take and think we’ll remember, we often forget to turn around and look at what it will look like coming back. He pointed out that the light, the contrast with the surroundings, the angle, it all looks different on the return. What we think is memorable going one way looks completely different when we turn around.

This rings true for me in life as well. The choices I’ve made on the route I’ve taken through life – the scary, vulnerable, or leap-of-faith ones – they look different when I look back at them. Sometimes the return view has me asking why it took me so long while other times I just want to get on my knees and pray in gratitude that I choose the way I did.

The past few months I’ve been struggling with charging my iPhone. Every time I went to charge the phone, I’d have to fiddle with it for upwards of five minutes to get the plug in just right so that it could charge. Then I’d carefully pin the cord in its position with a book so that nothing would move. Then when it was charging, I’d try not to use it, or if I ABSOLUTELY had to, touch it so tenderly as not to disturb any part of the delicate configuration.

Finally this past week, I couldn’t get the cord in to charge it at all. In the middle of my workday, I just had to suck it up and go to the Apple store. It took about 20 minutes of waiting but the helpful tech dug out a small particle jammed in the charging port and now it takes all of 5 seconds to get the plug in. During the time I waited, I realized that I’d avoided doing it not only because it was time that I felt I didn’t have but also because I was scared the news would be that I had to buy a new phone.

Yes, things look different on the return trip. It something that I’m reminded of when I’m deciding something – that there’s another perspective I can’t even see yet, but as soon as I decide and move on, I’ll get the benefit of looking back. Knowing that helps me to keep fluid.

Like when I went back to find the shell, it took me some time to get adjusted to the new perspective, but I eventually found it.

This is a sister post to A Brief Interlude Provided by Nature on the Heart of the Matter blog.

50 thoughts on “The Return Trip”

  1. Pingback: A Brief Interlude Provided by Nature – The Heart of the Matter

  2. This topic is especially worthwhile, Wynne because it is rarely addressed. As I think of events in life, I think in terms of how the interval between those events changes both the individual and the event itself. If, for example, we return to a beautiful place expecting to duplicate the experience we had the first time, we may be disappointed or happily surprised. We are older, our brain and body are likely to be different, the place may have been changed by wind, water, temperature, pollution, the size of the crowd visiting it on the first and second occasions, etc.

    We often carry an illusion about the fixed nature of ourselves and the people and places around us. Change is everywhere, inside and out.

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    1. I love the deep wisdom in your sentence, “Change is everywhere, inside and out.” And your comment reminds me of your story of seeing Leonard Bernstein again – right, we can’t duplicate the experience!

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  5. “Just listen” . . . the way Nature’s wonders and whispers are best heard, grasped and applied to enjoy coloring outside the lines of life.

    Thanks Wynne

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    1. What a great comment, Fred, “the way Nature’s wonders and whispers are best heard, grasped and applied to enjoy coloring outside the lines of life.” Exactly!!

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  7. Great post! I learned from traveling to always look back and memorize how the return trip should look when going on unguided excursions. Glad your iPhone’s okay and was a cheap fix. 🙂

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  8. Oh so very true that things can look much differently on the way back – from anywhere! Thank you for reminding us of that, or actually I should say, thank you for bringing that to my attention! I doubt I’d have ever gotten there on my own!

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  9. Relatable. Once when hiking a new trail, I put a stick in the intersection of each decision point pointing which way I should go to return to my car. On my way back, I realized that on a forested trail, there are sticks everywhere and the ones I placed didn’t stand out from the ones that just fell from trees. I finally made it back to the winding road where I parked, but didn’t know which way to turn for my car. I walked a mile in one direction and then walked the mile back and kept going to find my car. There’s probably a metaphor in there somewhere. Crepe paper is a much better idea.

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    1. I can totally relate to your stick story – yes! And walking the mile in the wrong direction – how frustrating, especially at the end of the hike! So easy to do.

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  13. Perspective is everything isn’t it! Look long enough and I think you will find something new rather that means coming or going as applied to life.

    I can so relate to the fear associated with all the what if scenarios and as you mention in your HoTM post- the overthinking. I believe I inherited one of the strongest ‘let’s overthink everthing all the time’ genes there is 🙂

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    1. I’m laughing about the overthinking genes – that’s funny, and so relatable! And you are right – perspective is everything. Amazing how it changes so much. Hope you enjoyed a beautiful Memorial Day weekend, Deb!

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  14. Yes, I’m familiar with playing the what if game and then realizing oh, that’s nothing. Funny how that works some times. Glad the phone thing was nothing. A scare yes, but not the end of the world. Hope the rest of the trip away has been great!!!

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  15. You make a very good point about the return trip. I feel that way about a long hike, or a long drive… the “to” always feels so much longer and anxiety inducing than the “from.” And the same could be said for the metaphorical return trips we take in life. Often times, our mental roadblocks make the real bumps on the road feel so much bigger than we are. But we ultimately feel so thankful for having taken the journey.

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  16. Oh, how I love this post, especially those markers bright markers, that would guide you home if need be. As writers, we often look back over our lives after we have experienced something, purposely looking for a new perspective. It’s so true, things look different on the return trip, because we’ve changed since we were passing through. It does keep me moving, because life just goes around the bolder in the stream. That might be the greatest gift of aging. Gracefully. Hugs, C

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    1. What an insightful comment, Cheryl. I hadn’t thought that we do it purposefully as writers but that rings so true. And yes, a great gift of aging! Hope you are enjoying your time at the lake! ❤

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  17. I really like that image of looking back and seeing things differently. Sometimes I’m guilty of failing to notice things even when I’m facing forward (like where I’ve parked my car in a complex parking garage.) I have to force myself to pay attention to the details. Good advice to consider the return trip and the new perspective that might develop. And I’m glad that your shell wasn’t washed away–sometimes we miss opportunities and they are lost!

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    1. Oh, the parking garage example is such a good one, Gwen. As is that something we miss opportunities when we don’t grab them at the time. Yes! Thank you!

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  18. Great post Wynne. Often our own memory is flat out wrong – especially when it comes to remembering how we felt at a particular time or place. i find that keeping a journal is a wonderful of way of looking back. I often read what I wrote exactly a year ago in my journal before I write. I’m often surprised. The view is indeed very different. 🙏

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    1. What a great practice of reading something in your journal before you write! That is something do with my journaling and you’ve inspired me. Thanks for the insightful comment!

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    1. Good question. He tied it to something – and then we grabbed them on the way back down. He must have known that a rainstorm was coming in the roughly 24-36 hours we’d be up there. That’s my guess – I should ask him.

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  23. I love all the metaphors you’ve shared here!

    In a literal sense, I find everything looks different at night than in the day, even in areas I know very well! I’ll often use my GPS at night to make sure I don’t turn down the wrong street!

    I like how Dr. Stein related it to trying to return back to an experience that was very pleasant only to find the return trip didn’t recreate the first experience. I find that so true when eating a yummy piece of cake or pie… the first piece is heavenly, so a second is attempted, but by then the taste-buds and stomach have been filled with goodness, to the ensuing bites don’t have the same wonder of flavor!

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    1. Ooh, what a great comment extending this to food! Right! I heard of a restaurant that only served micro portions based on the theory that we don’t really continue to enjoy things after 4 or 5 bites. Yes, this happens with the other senses too. Brilliant, Tamara!

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      1. Thanks! I’m thinking that’s why Tapas are so popular, since the taste-buds get tantalized! That restaurant sounds like they’re onto something!

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