Our Capacity for Connection

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“Be a lamp or a lifeboat or a ladder.” – Rumi

Nicholas Christakis, sociologist from Yale, has this really hopeful view of humans based on our ability to interact and cooperate with others. He concedes that we can be violent, selfish, and tribal but in the long view of human history, which is what he studies, we have developed this beautiful social suite of capabilities. Here’s how he described this on the On Being podcast with Krista Tippett:

“And these capacities include, for instance, the fact that we love the people we’re having sex with. We form sentimental attachments to them. We are technically monogamous. We befriend each other. We form long-term, non-reproductive unions with other members of our species. This is exceedingly rare in the animal kingdom. We do it, certain other primates do it, elephants do it, certain cetacean species do it — we form friendships with unrelated people. It’s universal in human groups. We cooperate with each other, altruistically. We’re kind to strangers — again, to unrelated individuals. This is different than many other types of cooperation, which are also seen in other animal species, but often that cooperation is between genetically related individuals. We do it with genetically unrelated individuals. We teach each other things. People take this for granted, but it’s actually unbelievable.”

Nicholas Christakis on the On Being Podcast

When I get too focused on the news, and all the destructive and unkind things that make up those segments, I find it comforting to be reminded of Nicholas Christakis’ long view. It reminds me of the way that I can work in any given moment to make a difference.

“We teach each other things. People take this for granted, but it’s actually unbelievable.” – Nicholas Christakis

(featured photo from Pexels)

18 thoughts on “Our Capacity for Connection”

  2. I’m not a techie or cyber-savvy, and the other day was shocked while exploring the many categories of my Word Press site discovered my blog has received over 2.1 million hits . . . an ego boost that quickly vaporized in the reality that there’s actually less than 100 of those contacts who I’ve enjoyed meaningful, 1-on-1 communication with, and a precious soul soothing 6 with whom I’ve been blessed to have a mutually and totally transparent relationship, sharing the tears of struggles and the laughter of joys navigating life together.

    Ole Albert had it right Wynne . . . “Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.”

    Be blessed lady!

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Wow, what an interesting perspective you offer here, Fred. I like the numbers – but I’m so glad that I found you in the conversations because they matter! Thanks, my friend and encourager!

      Liked by 2 people

  3. It’s interesting you wrote about Twitter, Wynne, as I just deleted my Twitter in late November and it became official last week – as there’s a 30-day window. The Elon Musk situation was the final nail in the coffin for me.

    I agree with you that the difference between followers and community is key. How blessed we are to be part of this blogging community. 🙂

    Just wait till your kids get into social media? I hear Tik Tok is a lot of fun for the young-ins! 😆

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I’m laughing. Maybe they won’t have Tik Tok by the time our guys are on it? I suppose then it might be something even more insidious.

      So interesting about deleting your Twitter account. WordPress is definitely the community that I relate to most so I’m with you – so grateful for this community — and you!

      Liked by 2 people

  4. I can’t heart this enough, Wynne: “We teach each other things. People take this for granted, but it’s actually unbelievable.” That’s exactly what happens in this space, and it really is amazing. I’m grateful to be a part of it. Such a heartwarming post! 🤍

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Great observations. I so enjoy having pleasant interactions with strangers. I think it enlivens both our days. I did this recently at the library and told the girls something about the importance of being kind to others and how it improves people’s days and hopefully they’ll spread the kindness to others, now being in a happy mood. Here’s hoping!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am totally with you on the conversations with strangers. And I love how you are passing it down to your kids. It does make a difference!

      And then strangers become friends that you adore even though you’ve never met!! But someday we will! 🙂 ❤

      Liked by 1 person

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