Strong Back, Soft Front

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This week it seems like I’ve had to be very firm with myself to focus on the things I have to get done and not just the things I want to get done. At the same time, I’ve been trying to hold compassion for all the things that are unsolved in me. It makes me think of this wonderful phrase from Roshi Joan Halifax – Strong Back, Soft Front.

Wynne Leon's avatarSurprised By Joy

“Do small things with great love.” – Mother Teresa

Last night we returned from a small outdoor party right at my son’s bedtime. I went to take off his shoes and socks and start to get him ready for bed and he was lying on the couch, head on the pillows, looking very much like a little grown man taking a load off after a long day. When I told him it was time to get his jammies on and stooped to pick him up he said, “No tank ooo.” At 23 months “no thank you” is his most powerful phrase and although I’d never claim that he fully understands the politeness of it, it’s still quite effective.

It makes me think of a phrase I first heard used by Brene Brown, “strong back, soft front” but I believe was originated by Roshi Joan Halifax, a Buddhist teacher. Strong back…

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24 thoughts on “Strong Back, Soft Front”

  3. Thanks for sharing. Such a balancing act – all things soft and strong – but one that you do well! I was charmed by Mr. D’s ‘no tank OOO’. I can picture that — him snuggled, outstretched and comfy. You want to move me? No tank OOO indeed. Made me smile! 😉😉😉

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    1. I’m laughing, Vicki. Maybe we should all try that No tank OOO and see how effective it is? 🙂 I suspect like many things, it’s a lot cuter on young ones than old ones….

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  4. I haven’t heard that quote before either, but it’s great, and I loved the original post. I certainly struggle with the balance of the soft and the strong. And… I’m going to try and remember this phrase. 🤍

    P. S. I doubt I would have had the wherewithal (ie: strong back) to continue with a bed time routine after a “no tank ooo” like that. ☺️🥰

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    1. Ha, ha, Kendra. You’re right about the power of the no tank ooo – I’m sure it gained him at least a few more minutes of relaxation… 🙂

      And yes – the balance of the soft and the strong. What a good way to put it!

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  5. I think I am much like Ally Bean describes herself. There is a need within me to be strong, maybe even unyielding at times. I sound like a broken record but I think this started long ago in my family. One of my goals: work on a better balance between soft and strong.

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    1. I don’t think that sounds like a broken record – it sounds like awareness. I think we are all more influenced by our family patterns than our American “free will” usually has us think!

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  6. Thanks for resharing this post from last summer, Wynne! 🙂 A good reminder for this challenging week for myself. Hope you have a wonderful weekend ahead!

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  7. Adorable! When I was working, I had an entire department of adults saying “Eck-cooze me”—words from my three-year old nephew. I wonder how long it will be before “No tank oo” catches on!

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  9. Thank you for sharing!. i usually follow my heart, rarely go wrong… “Don’t be pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led by the dreams in your heart.” (Roy T. Bennett )… 🙂

    Until we meet again..
    May the dreams you hold dearest
    Be those which come true
    May the kindness you spread
    Keep returning to you
    (Irish Saying)

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  10. Oh wow. I love the thought of having compassion for the things that are unsolved in me. What a great way to put it. And the Mother Theresa quote reminds me somewhat of ‘how we do anything is how we do everything’. Thanks for this!

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