Win as a Team, Lose as a Team

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“When the water in the harbor goes up, all the boats rise.” – Chinese Proverb

The other day as we were driving home from the camp Miss O is doing this week, she grumbled, “It’s not fair that we lose as a team.” She explained further that the camp motto is we win as a team and lose as a team.  Earlier that day some people on her team had not been listening to their counselor so the whole team had to sit out for three minutes.

I’ve been volunteering at this camp every afternoon this week so I’ve had a chance to observe some of the brilliant team building activities the campers have been doing. In one, they needed to traverse a course set up with strings that have bells attached. Then can go over the strings or under the strings but if a bell rings, they become “blind” and have to ask for help from someone who is doing the course but not blind to lead them to home base where their sight is restored. Then they start the course again.

Once someone gets to the end of the course, there is a bowl that they need to deliver back to home base. Except the person carrying the bowl can only hold it for 5 seconds and they can’t move their feet while holding the bowl. If they hold it too long or move the feet, the bowl goes back to the beginning and they start again.

Watching these 6-8 year olds, it was fascinating to see how they managed these tasks. First, they all seemed pretty willing to help their teammates when they were blind, even if it meant having to start over themselves.

For the bowl passing part, they clearly needed to create a bucket brigade but were too excited by the instructor counting down the seconds they could hold it, “5 – 4 – 3” that they had trouble organizing themselves. They rarely held it more than 3 seconds and everyone crowded around the bowl instead of stringing themselves down the line so that they could be passed to.

The bowl went back several times, usually because someone moved their feet while holding the bowl, once when they were just feet away from the goal  – but they stuck with it and eventually got it done. They won as a team.

But do we, in the bigger picture, also lose as a team? Climate change, poverty, drinking water for all, public health – it appears we are all affected by these issues, some more and some less. And yet we forget that we have to work together to solve these big problems. Perhaps we all need to go back to camp.

What do you think? Is it fair that we lose together? Are we remembering to celebrate our wins together?

32 thoughts on “Win as a Team, Lose as a Team”

  1. This world requires leaders who see things differently and who behave differently from the leaders we now have or had in the past. The proof of this lies in the reticence of nations to pass laws and to build new infrastructure to support the environment. The old “Me first, give me the money” school of thought has created and is perpetuating the very problems which created our climate crisis.

    New leaders need to be nurtured, for when we share our love and help other feel loved, we collectively want to work together in community with each other. New leaders need to have ample practice within their families and communities, and these camps and teachers are offering this incubator for our new leaders!

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    2. I love your take on it, Tamara. Your statement that camps and teachers are offering this incubator fills me with hope. Please can we move on from our outdated leaders!

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  2. Nobody ever said that everything is fair. But true it is that when one loses, we all do, regardless whether it’s a pass-the-bowl exercise, or a vote in favor of putting dark forces into office. We’re all in it together. We need to find our way back home to the light together. Another lovely post, Wynne.

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  3. A terrific experience for these kids. Yes, we should all return to camp! The mandatory military draft created something like that. A year or two in some comparable national service might help. Fairness? Justice? Unfortunately, our country has become a place where the word “justice” has been transformed into “just us.”

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  4. Whether we realised it or not, I think we were always together from the very beginning. It’s like, I can earn an income which allows me to buy food or even purchase a house, but I wasn’t the one to build the house or grow the food with my own hands. If no one did, I’d have to redirect my focus from however I earned my income towards those matters instead.

    Did that make any sense?

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  5. I love this exercise and camp’s approach. While I do believe it’s important to promote individuality and leadership – it’s also great to teach kids that you are only as good and as strong as the ones whom you have to collaborate with, whether at home, school, work or out in the community. Taking the time to build each other up, can only build yourself up too, as that ancient wise Chinese proverb you share was getting at. Happy weekend! 🙂

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    2. What a wonderfully thought provoking question. I’m going to re-share a wonderful TED talk that starts with the speaker asking if he were marooned on a deserted island and a gorilla was marooned on a deserted island, who’d be more likely to survive? Of course the gorilla. How about 4 humans marooned on a deserted island vs. 4 gorillas? Of course the gorillas. How about 4000 humans vs 4000 gorillas? Of course the humans.

      I, too, think that the camp is wonderful to reinforce these important concepts. They’re not easy to grapple with, what a great exercise to help embrace it!

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      1. Oh, that is so fascinating, EW! What an interesting way to illustrate that humans need each other to survive. That is wonderful!! I love the connections you make and help me to make with every comment!

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  6. You picked a great camp Wynne. Kudos. The simple answer to your question is yes, I think a long and meaningful dose of camp would benefit us all. I find it harder and harder to read our overall social perspective anymore. There are definitely a large number in the me versus them category, but then we hear or see evidence of a large scale “Us” climate emerging around specific issues. I can’t stop wondering where we really are collectively. Toss in the media perpetuating negatives, toss in genuine disparity in our communities, toss in… It all just feels defeating at times.

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    1. Yes, I feel so fortunate to have my daughter at this camp. It really is a great experience. And I completely agree with you about our social perspective. It doesn’t feel defeating. I almost want to tuck my head into the sand but I know that won’t do us any good either. I like Tamara’s comment from above that maybe the kids going to camps like this will be able to bring about a new generation of leadership. And there’s some social research that supports that – kids that grow up in times of peace and with the benefits of capitalism start to become more socially aware and expansive. Fingers crossed.

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  7. Hi, Wynne – love the post and all the comments. I want to be encouraged, too – evidence comes, I think, from Miss O’s compassionate camp experience. There’s hope – I see it in my twenty-something daughter who – through nature or nurture (or both) is grounded in love, leadership and service. Without teaching or preaching, she and her circle of friends always understood the interconnectedness of their actions and found ways to be grounded and grateful – even when disappointed. And just for fun – let me share this. When I read your post earlier, I was running errands and only caught the headline. I chuckled because I first thought the title of this post was: “WYNNE as a team, lose as a team.” I think that works, too.
    xo!
    -Vicki

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    1. Oh, I’m laughing about Wynne as a team, Vicki!! Hilarious!!

      And I love the way you describe love, leadership and service you see in your daughter. She sounds wonderful and that gives me so much hope!

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  8. Thanks for this ‘Kid’s Camp’ allogorical reminder Wynne that in life each of us encounter ‘blind spots’ where we need the team effort of others to help us successfully navigate towards the finish line.

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  10. The planet is our home, we all live here. Where you were born, the color of your skin, is only by chance. I think we should learn to stick together and act as a team for the common good. One thing above all. Let’s stop making wars (and make love instead, as the hippy generation used to say). Co-operation should go over competition among individuals, because at the end of the day we all want to be happy, accepted for what we are, with all our flaws and qualities. If we lose as a team, the team will always be there to help and support. A team is more that the sum of their components. Collective intelligence is the sum of all team members knowledge and skills. Therefore is more powerful. But we have to learn to use this power for the good of all beings, not only human, but also animals. There is a lot by the way that we can learn from animals, as they behave in teams. Think for instance at ants, bees, and also wolves, just to mention some. Thank you Wynne for this inspirational post!

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    1. Beautiful comment, Cristiana. I love the point you make that if we lose as a team, the team will always be there to help and support. Yes! So many good points here – thank you for all your wisdom!

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  11. I wonder at what point, in the transition from childhood to adult, some people lose that sense of team, Wynne? I can only offer a British perspective, but it seems that most role models and leaders (especially politicians) have profit as a goal and measure of success. I think we could all do with a week in Miss O’s camp to realign and remember what is important. Thanks for the thought provoking post and it was refreshing to read the comments here.

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    1. Such a good question as to when we lose that sense of team, Davy. I agree that leaders look to success and profit as their measure of success, as you put it so well. But when I see little snippets that news channels call things like “play of the day” it’s often about someone who caught the ball and gave it to someone else or who stopped running in order to help a fellow runner. It seems we are measuring one thing but in our hearts know that true courage and meaning lie elsewhere. Such an interesting topic – thanks for weighing in!

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  12. I have been thinking about questions related to this a lot recently, but something about how you framed yours really struck me.

    My siblings and I generally survived terrifying times by weathering them together. I was this experientially wires to prize team, and so perplexed by how that did not show up often outside my childhood home.

    Now, I consider being wired for team a gift. I just wish it were easier to make that catch; our fates are all bound up in each others’, and the world ahead will be better the sooner this is better understood. IMO!

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    1. “and the world ahead will be better the sooner this is better understood.” – yes. I’m sorry about the terrifying childhood times but I love how you and your siblings banded together. Beautiful lesson – thank you for adding this perspective!

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  13. That’s a tough one. I get winning as a team, obviously, but I understand Miss O being irked for being punished due to the misbehavior of some of her teammates. I suppose the whole idea is to encourage teamwork no matter what. Also, what a fun, creative game!

    P.S. Am watching Frasier for maybe the 3rd (4th?) time through. Do you like that show too?

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    1. Oh, I haven’t seen Frasier in ages. That was a great show! Makes you think of Seattle doesn’t it?

      Yes, you are so right about the game. So creative and the rule to lose as a team is irksome. But what I thought was great was that they really weren’t pointing fingers when things went wrong. I guess that takes practice too.

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