Airing the Wounds Out

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Something that I did right the other day when my kids had a melt down reminded me of this time when I got it wrong. I’m so grateful that life gives us opportunities to learn — and to heal when we don’t get it right.

Wynne Leon's avatarSurprised By Joy

“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.” – Winston Churchill

My kids and I spent the weekend with my brother and sister-in-law. Sitting around their semi-circular teak dining room table with a padded bench seat, I was reminded about a conversation we had there about a year ago.

“My mom said I should go find another mom,” My daughter said to my brother and sister-in-law. It was all I could do to not explain but because they are wise, they teased out the story from her. She was having a fit that seemed to be part of what came with being four because I wouldn’t let her do something. It had been going on for a while (it seemed like a fifteen minutes although it was probably five) and she said, “I’m going to find a…

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19 thoughts on “Airing the Wounds Out”

  1. I have a few similar stories like that. I used to worry all the time that it was proof of my horrible parenting skills. I guess I’m not sure now. When our two grown kids and the third who is almost there, get together now, they love to talk about those stories and reminisce. For them, the stories aren’t about how bad I was, but instead how they were learning and seeing that love is more than just getting everything when you want it! Ha, ha.

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    1. What an interesting comment this is, Brian! It’s like a trip to the future for me to think about how these conversations might go when my kids are grown. Sounds like you have wonderful kids who have learned great lessons. I love it! Thanks for adding this to my perspective and this conversation!

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      1. Yes, they take glee in ribbing me over events or decisions I made that I would not want highlighted in my made for TV movie! Ugh. It’s embarrassing, but as another commenter mentioned, as a parent, you make the best decisions you can in that moment. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t, but you love them and try again the next day.

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  2. Good job and great post, Wynne. It’s not that we make mistakes ( that’s inevitable) but it’s what we do afterwards that really matters. Kids are our greatest teachers. They help us to learn and grow. It takes a good parent to admit their mistakes and ask forgiveness from their children. What a wonderful example you are to your kids and your readers.

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    1. Thank you, Nancy. Your words are very kind and understanding. Yes, the mistakes are inevitable but I’m so thankful for the human ability to learn from them! Thank you for your reassurance!

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    2. I agree on all three: good job, great post, and it’s not about never making mistakes, it’s like Nancy said, channeling Confucius: “Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”

      It’s not only glory, it shows tremendous strength!

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  3. An honest and lovely post, Wynne.
    I read your original post and love the last sentence, “But now I add to that list – relaxed into our imperfections and healed mistakes.”
    You are a wonderful mum!
    Best wishes.

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    1. Thanks, Chaya, for your beautiful comment that seems to accept me in the space that I inhabit – trying but not perfect! I appreciate your vote of confidence and support.

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  4. On this one tugged at me, as I’ve had many similar moments with my little one – and was not as restrained and wise as you in handling it.

    It is interesting and heart wrenching at times to watch our little ones understand their emotions, to make sense of it, to express it… often so bluntly and without filters.

    It’s wonderful you give them the safe space to do so. And how nice to have understanding family too who don’t pass judgement when these discussions are had.

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    1. Oh, I understand exactly what you are saying, Ab. Our little ones can really express themselves sometimes, can’t they? And you are so right, I’m so lucky to have family that I trust not to judge me so that they can help unpack things. It was so hard to sit there in that moment and not interject because of my ego need to prove something but I was so grateful I could trust my brother and sister-in-law to understand. May we all have that help when we need it! Thanks for the sympathy my friend – and sending the same to you!

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  6. Parenting is hard and takes all kinds of courage. Apology is one kind. Listening is another. I’m glad you held space for your daughter. Don’t kids just break our hearts in the best kinds of ways?

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  7. Ugh it sucks to fail as a parent but it happens. No single person is immune to making mistakes especially with parenting. The only thing that matters is how much we love our kids 🥰

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