Are Buddhists Bad Texters?

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“Joy is not in things; it is in us.” – Richard Wagner

I have a couple of friends that identify as serious Buddhists. Neither is the Dalai Lama but I’d stereotype them as people that have made mindfulness a way of life which is a level (or more) up from my I’m committed to sitting down and meditating every morning level.

They are both terrible texters. That is to say I will text them and they will respond without my prompting them for a response. But probably not for days. And no, it isn’t something specific to this friend group because neither knows the other.

Not responding for days seems to me like a violation of the texting technology. It’s made so that you don’t have to pick up the phone at any specific moment but that conversational-ish communication is available to you when you are ready. Right?

My other explanation about their behavior was that they could be unfamiliar or uncomfortable with the technology. Nope, not true – they both will initiate text threads.

But I was listening to the Ten Percent Happier podcast the other day with Matthew Hepburn, a Buddhist Teacher and it prompted another thought.

Matthew Hepburn’s summary about mindfulness was a practice so that we can use our attention intentionally. That is to say that if life is made up of what we pay attention to, mindfulness helps make the sum total of what we pay attention to better and under our control.

When we meditate or sit quietly in any practice and notice where our mind goes – and I’ll speak for myself personally here – it’s most often to my to-do list or where my loved ones are. My attention when I call it back is somewhere between the laundry and my next meal. Nothing wrong with that except that I don’t imagine that is where I’d like the sum total of my life to be. I’d rather it be in the love and friendships I had with others and my usefulness on this planet Earth.

I don’t have a big enough sample to know if Buddhists are bad texters. But my theory reminds me that I can’t pay attention to everything. And that means putting down my phone, turning off the sound on my laptop so I can’t hear the <ding> of a new email. Or better yet, going for a walk outside with a friend.

The idea that we can intentionally set our attention is so appealing to me. It rings true that I can determine the life I want to live just by aiming my focus. Even if that means I won’t be a very good texter.

10 thoughts on “Are Buddhists Bad Texters?”

  1. I love this thought, though to be honest, I doubt I could NOT reply to work emails on days off, even though I acknowledge that I’ve received it and will get on the task once back to work. Occasionally I need to take care of something work-related on my weekend, but both my boss and I try not to!

    For the rest of my life, I’ve been trying to put this into practice, but I was relating it to putting myself first instead of always others! Great thought!

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    1. I think your awareness makes perfect sense. And if you email back on days off to acknowledge something and that makes it so that you can enjoy your time off all the better, I think that reflects that same kind of intentional awareness. Right?

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      1. Hmmm, that’s so true! Sometimes it isn’t our boss who is a taskmaster but the boss’s boss! I’m keeping my sanity and hopefully am a tether for others to not get tossed around! 😬😬

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  2. Very true. It really is about what we focus on. As far as the late texters, I have a friend like that. She’s not Buddhist, and I can’t understand the many days later reply. There’s a balance between mindfulness and I’ll forget about it for days. I have no idea why it is the way it is, but I accept it. And know that’s her way. Good
    Post!

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  3. I would love to be like this. Being able to be mindful and intentional about my technology use instead of multitasking and being pulled in a million directions. What an interesting thought and proposition, Wynne!

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