Underneath the Urgency

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“Either you run the day or the day runs you.” – Jim Rohn

I woke up this morning at 5:30am – a little later than usual. In the dark of a morning in January, I rolled out of bed thinking that I didn’t have enough time to do yoga in addition to meditate, write and read before I need to get my kids up.

I frequently feel like I don’t have enough time. I feel it on weekdays when I know I have a hard deadline to wrap things up with work so that I can go pick up my kids. I feel it on weekends when I’m immersed in kid chaos and can’t get personal to-do items done.

The more that I think about it, the more urgent it feels. Gripped by that feeling, I flail and get less done. It’s like a secret of physics that noticing the speed of time makes time go faster.

I think it’s fair to say that I’ve never enjoyed a moment in which I was gripped by scarcity. And the majority of the mistakes I make are done when I rush.

And sometimes I can sense that it’s not a feeling of not have time (lower-case t) as in just that day but Time (upper-case T) as in before I die. Recently a 63-year-old friend died of complications of cancer treatment and I have another friend who is experiencing some progressive cognitive diminishments in her mid 60’s.

When I think about these friends, not only do I feel grief for them and their families but also a little frantic. Because having kids as an older parent means I will be 68-years-old when my youngest graduates from high school. I want to be fully present for my kids all they celebrate all their growing-up milestones. And beyond.

When feeling that urgency, the only thing I’ve found to do is to slow down. It’s a sense of reaching underneath the urgency to grab the fabric of life that’s just under the surface. Gripped by that ache of not enough time, I force myself again and again to return to this moment.

This moment, the one right here where I’m quietly sitting and writing these words is full of abundance. It’s a rich moment of quiet and calm. It’s a celebration that I haven’t yet run out of time because I woke up this morning.

Sure, I have to make choices about what I can get done today and prioritize. But making those choices when in the throes of scarcity usually means I make the short-sighted one. When I’m plugged in to the power of now, I can choose more wisely. And the other secret is that most of the time, the wisest choice is opting not to clean. 🙂

19 thoughts on “Underneath the Urgency”

  2. “Its like a secret of physics that noticing the speed of time makes time go faster.” This is so very true especially during this pandemic when we’re trying to squeeze so much in.

    I’m very sorry to hear about your two friends. Time with a capital T puts things into perspective, for sure. And taking the time to be present in the now helps us see the bigger picture rather than the frenzy of the here and now.

    Thanks Wynne!

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    1. I like what you say about “taking the time to be present in the now helps us see the bigger picture rather than the frenzy of here and now.” That rings so true to me! Thanks, Ab! Happy Monday!

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  3. I totally understand the pressing need of Time! As someone who has had a compromised immune system for most of my life, I’ve been taking Vitamin C and other immune-boosting supplements. Much to my delight, I’ve been reading how those same supplements are also connected to increased cognition and better health as we age! It’s also never too late to add these supplements into a daily plan to help our bodies manage the daily stresses of life, the pandemic, and aging!

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    1. That’s so interesting, Tamara! Is it because the supplements you are taking reduce inflammation as well as boost the immune system? I’m so glad to hear you report that – yes to helping our bodies manage the daily stress of life too!

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  5. “This moment, the one right here where I’m quietly sitting and writing these words is full of abundance. It’s a rich moment of quiet and calm. It’s a celebration that I haven’t yet run out of time because I woke up this morning.” Perfectly stated. Mindfulness and gratitude are so powerful and grounding. Great post, Wynne! Thank you for sharing.💜

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  6. I dont think time is a culprit here. Because Ive noticed several times that amount of work being constant everyday behaves clahsing sometimes.
    Its like we are running out of time even after doing our best.
    I’ve written something about this issue before, but I really like your take on it.

    And sorry to hear about your friends.

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  7. I’m glad you choose to slow down when needed. I also sometimes get this sense of urgency and feel like I don’t have time. But I have never thought about it in the sense of time vs Time and now I am going to have to reflect on that next time I feel this way. I don’t think much about death (I’m 31 and healthy) but I do often think about is this the life I want to live right now? Or am I sacrificing too much now with the hopes the future will give me something else? Like don’t get me wrong, I am fine with delayed gratification and making sacrifices now for the future but I have started to become more conscientious of these sacrifices and as I’ve gotten older not wanting to delay certain gratification as much.

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    1. What an interesting comment you’ve made. Does sacrifice and delayed gratification contribute to a sense of wasting time? Wow, that’s an incredibly meaningful question. Thinking back on my life, the answer to that depended on whether or not I was on the right path for me. In the time I have not been on the right path, the sense probably added to that urgency about Time.

      Thank you so much for reading and such an interesting comment!

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  8. As a 66-year-old person with many interests, I have begun to realize that I’m probably not going to be able to do everything I want to do in a day, or in this life. My goal now is to prioritize more carefully the time I have. This includes making time to relax and nurture myself. Thank you for bringing me back to the gift of the present.

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    1. “My goal now is to prioritize more carefully the time I have. This includes making time to relax and nurture myself.” What a beautiful and wise sentiment. And I’m grateful that one of the priorities you’ve chosen is to blog, read and comment! Thank you!

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  9. I like the title, Wynne!
    I remember from the time my two were little, I always felt I was chasing my own tail!
    Trying to be a superwoman – – a good mother, an accomplished homemaker, a great teacher – – managing everything effortlessly while looking like a model! Then during my fifties, I was teaching and attending a university, socializing and chasing my old tail.
    Now, retired, with grown-up children, I have finally stopped chasing that unattainable ideal of a superwoman.
    Now, I am taking “enjoying me time” very seriously!
    Best wishes.
    Chaya

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    1. I love this bit “managing everything effortlessly while looking like a model!” and how you walked us through the decades. And how at the end your conclusion isn’t that you have more time now that you are retired but that you have finally stopped chasing the unattainable ideal of a superwoman. What wisdom!! Thank you for that, Chaya!

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