“It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.” – Agnes Repplier
When I first started actively blogging, I was pleasantly surprised by the email that WordPress sends out. “Person X liked your post. They thought A Randon Post Title was pretty awesome.” But then those “likes” get pretty addictive, don’t they? So I recently I started thinking about “likes.”
If you hit “like” on this post, is it because you like me and generally think I’m a good person or is it because what I’ve written means something to you? And if you don’t hit “like” is it because what I’ve written doesn’t resonate or because we don’t have a relationship?
I know it isn’t such a cut-and-dried thing but if I break it down that way, I think about feedback and what I give away. After all, “likes” are free for me to give, so why not like everything? If I do, do those likes count for much anymore?
I read a beautiful metaphor that Mark Nepo included in The Book of Awakening. He was talking about someone who was interviewing for a job and she said she wanted to jump and down and yell “pick me.” In this way he said we are all like puppies at the pound, dying for someone to pick us and take us home.
But when I perform for “likes,” it can cost me my authenticity. Not always – sometimes it pushes me to do a better job writing and communicating. But I have also found myself at times changing my voice based on who I think is reading. The former is great, the latter is destructive.
I want you to like me. But as I discover again and again, whether it’s blogging, parenting or being a friend – more than important than that is whether I like me. From there, I’m okay with how many likes I get or don’t get as long as I’m telling my truth.
(photo by Pexels)
Surprised By Joy 
Good post. I left instagram because my thumb pretty much had it with that double-tap dance. I give likes when something I read inspires me, also to encourage fellow creators. As for receiving them, I stopped caring about it when I left social media. It’s only nice to see a familiar face stop by from time to time but that’s about it. I do think they should get rid of the button altogether though. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I like your approach to encourage fellow creators. Yes, we do need that encouragement when creating can be such a solitary activity! Thank you for reading and commenting! I appreciate it, Marcia!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I click “like” when I’ve read someone’s post as a form of acknowledgement. It does not necessarily mean that I agree with everything that’s expressed in the post.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That matches my approach too, Rosaliene. As we know, it’s hard to write and nice to be read! Thank you so much for taking your time to read my posts!! 🙂 ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wynne, it’s a joy sharing the time you spend with your kids and learning about your approach to being a mother 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, thank you so much! I’m so grateful that I’ve crossed paths with you as such a thoughtful reader, writer and friend!
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’ve perfectly described the pitfalls of social media.
From a writing perspective, it’s better to be liked less for who you are than to be liked more for who you’re not.
I like to read your writing and insights into the world – and to learn more about your parenting journey. 🙂
PS. I turned off those emails from WordPress. It becomes too much noise after a while!
LikeLike
Oh, what a nice compliment and good suggestion. Thank you, Ab! Such a wise comment about it better to be liked for who you are. Such a wonderful way to put it!
I gain ideas, inspiration and insights when I read your writing. You write well and it’s so fun that T is the same age as my daughter because even though our kids are different and we are a country apart, there is so much the same about the parenting journey!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for the kind words. Yes, I similarly and definitely see a parallel in our parenting journeys which has been fun to read about on your end.
LikeLiked by 1 person