“Inspiration usually comes during work, rather than before it.” – Madeleine L’Engle

Last summer I decided to paint the exterior of my house. Not knowing if I could really do it, I just thought I’d start with the south facing side that needed it the most. I was not changing the color so I told myself I could at the very least try and if I couldn’t do it, formulate a different plan. I purchased the supplies, pulled out my 20 foot ladder, started with the roller with an extension and tried to get the highest boards above my back patio. I must have gone up and down that ladder 20 times in the first few boards – changing where I put the paint, putting on different shoes, remembering the paint rag, taking off the roller extension, putting it back on. I was shaky at first but kept adapting the system until I got into a rhythm. The process reminded me of so much of Madeleine L’Engle’s quote.

It happens to me every time I write. I know that any blogger that reads this will relate. I sit down to do it and what comes out is usually different than what I thought I was writing. Something happens in the middle that as I write, it’s changing me and I’m changing where I’m going and how I think. It’s funny how thinking about doing it and actually doing it are two very different things.

And parenting – I wrote that post about how I joked before I had kids that I was going to run a family like I was a referee and I could use calls from any sport I could think of. Which was a little in jest but telling for how I thought parenting calls would be easy to make. I know both my style and how I feel about it have changed with the first and again with the second child. It’s not until you are elbow deep in diapers that the epiphanies come – about love, messiness and vulnerability.

I find out over and over again that the key with all these life endeavors is starting. Because waiting until it’s all wrapped up in a bow in my mind is never how it is finished. It’s a messy process of participating in the creation and unfolding of life. It’s jumping in and trying something and discovering something in the trying. It feels like I learn and relearn this. Every time I jump into a new venture, I think it’s going to be perfect at the start. It never is and then I have to adjust my thinking to remember that isn’t failure, it’s the process.

When I started painting the house, I thought I’d just do the most weathered boards. After all, it was a silly thing to do when I had no time because of kids and work. But I found it to be so satisfying to see the house change that over the next few weeks, I moved on to do almost off of the house except the highest portions. My mom thought it was such a great idea that she came over to help too! Inspiration usually comes during the work, rather than before it.